Dark Lady Moon
This evening as this cycle ends. I look to the sky, pausing to trace where you would be. Taking a breath assimilating all that past, all that I experienced. I rest in your darkness. The sacred silence soothes me. I know that in this standing still I dismiss the urge for constant rushing and business (a trauma response if ever we saw one).
No to do list, phone is silenced, no slaw jawed, vacant eyed consumption of social media. Just you, me, my journal and the darkness.
It's not a lack of light but a different way of illumination. I go in, I go deep. breathing space for shadows and exploration.
This month I offer up the these memories for your safe keeping; losing my seeds, searching high and low and then going to bed to sulk and replacing them the next day. Scripting getting the keys for the beach hut and the next day getting the call from Hazel that we could collect the keys and squeeing loudly in B&N's and completing 365 #isolationhaikus and leaning into #reintergrationhaikus.
I celebrate making good progress with work, the podcast and with my Tuesday Tune In mediations.
Still challenged about letting fully go from a relationship where I feel the other person behaved poorly and even though they are not present in my life there are reminders and I release them from my energy, I know I've done this again and again and again. I really think I am reader now, the coal that I was holding hasn't really cooled significantly so maybe I will just let it down? I know why I am frustrated and I know it really is entirely outside of my control, so I will surrender that into the cauldron of the Crone Mother for transformation.
Thank you for your patience and understanding, give me grace and compassion, to let go and move forwards.
Dearest, darling Jen
I long to read your letters, to see you grow and learn. You do pause more frequently than you did and you know you can cosy up with me in the darkness and rest any time. I have the balm for most ailments and it's usually rest and quiet you are progressing beautifully.
Yes, I am glad you are taking time out. In this stillness it is easier to commune isn't it? Glad to see you letting the sham world and it's illusions of separateness fall. You will always be safe to explore your shadows dear heart. I am here to hear you, your joys and sorrows and there will never be judgement, just complete acceptance of you and where you are right now.
I can't give you any insights into the seeds, maybe its fae folks playing tricks or maybe a lesson that things come and go in our lives and when something is lost maybe it wasn't meant for you. It's okay to be disappointed when things don't go your way, but don't spend too much time hiding under a duvet, what inspired action can you take next?
Well done with your meditations and your haikus, glad your releasing that isolation, I think everyone is ready to start moving forward and you can take it steady, go at the pace that is right for you. Did you like the yoniverse delivering in divinely perfect timing. We were all rather impressed with that I think we heard you squeeing across the Milky Way.
It's okay that your challenged and some hurdles do take longer to overcome than others, but I think you have learned all you can from this and you absolutely can put it down you have carried it longer than you needed, but only you know when your limbs are aching at the time is right to set it down, the Crone Mothers are happy to accept your offering to the cauldron.
Grace and compassion are your birth right, fill up your cup.
See you next month moon child.