Wednesday, 4 April 2018

Napowrimo 2018 / Day 4 - Ictal States

Napowrimo 2018 Day 4
Prompt - A poem about something abstract 

Ictal States

Pre Ictal

It's a low down feeling of impending doom.
Have you ever had a copper at the door?
Your heart beats faster, stomach feels hollow.
A wave of sickness rises.
Sometimes I can 'do' but not speak.
Heavy tongue permits no words.
But I might, wordlessly hand you my glasses.
Gravitate to a safe looking space on the floor.
Sometimes I run away, reptile brain, supposes
That flashes and flickering can be outrun. 


Just darkness

Post Ictal

Brain reboots, hearing first, so speak gentle to me.
Words of comfort a reassurance. “I'm here, your safe".
Listen to the drumming of the rain on the roof.
Coming back into myself eyes open lights too bright.
Tap tap tap my face.  If you know me that's my sign.
Fetch my tortoiseshell tinted glasses.
Soften the glare of the bright halogen lights.
Coming back into my body, after jerks shake.
I can't yet articulate this is normal for me.
Mere tremors as the topography of my body settles.
Finally speech returns, garbled and incoherent.
If you know me now you tell me my husband is on the way.
Even if his not.  As I babble .
"This is not my floor"
"I'm not a pterodactyl"
“Where's my baby“ (plot twist he's grown up, 24, this terrifies strangers and paramedics)
"They took it away and made it for cars"
Tears flooded my face, heart pounds , breaths gasped.
This loss and terror no one could decode
Finally exhaustion overtakes, fall into sleep

Flash, Thunderstorm, Super Cell, Weather

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